Skating is not for me

Will someone teach me how to skate?

Grandma says I'm not too old

To go out in the shivering cold

And slither on the solid ice.

She says skating is quite nice.

As for me, it's not so great,

But then I only have one skate,

And if I get myself a pair

I must venture out in freezing air.

Well done, Grandma

Auntie Jane is here again

Auntie Jane just feels no pain

As she trips and slips and falls again.

She likes us all to stand and stare

As she glides by with foot in air.

I shout, when she goes whizzing round:

"Keep both your feet upon the ground!"

She does not listen when I grumble,

Even if she takes a tumble.

Today I saw, out in the street,

A lad with rollers on his feet.

I thought: "Now that's the thing for me.

No ice. No surface slippery.

I'll get myself down to the store

And buy myself a skate, or four.

There's no need to get cold and sticky.

Roller blades don't seem too tricky."

Smart young lad

Oh! Deary me! Help

I tried them on and stepped outside,

Ready for a gentle glide.

I could not manage them at all.

I crashed into a garden wall.

Then I went whooshing down the slope.

(Grandma ran behind with rope)

She pulled me back home up the hill.

I went to bed. I felt quite ill.

Other people, I could see,

Were having much more fun than me

Spinning, whirling, making speed.

A pleasurable pastime, yes indeed,

With scarce a tremble or a fall

And no-one getting hurt at all.

All this made me rather sad.

'Twas not for me, the fun they had.

It's not so easy

Zooomm!

As I wiped away my tear

There came to me a great idea!

I saw a clever seven-year old

With a Skate Board, brown and gold.

"If he can skate thus, so can I"

"Yes," said Grandma. "Pigs can fly!"

Before she grumbled me some more

I quickly went off to the store.

You will notice I did not succeed.

A skate board is NOT what I need.

As I lay there in the mud

Grandma helped mop up my blood.

I limped away and bought a scooter.

Grandma said it did not suit her.

Please, before it is too late,

Will someone teach me how to skate?

I give up!

Grandma says I'm not too old To go out in the shivering cold And slither on the solid ice. She says skating is quite nice. As for me, it's not so great, But then I only have one skate, And if I get myself a pair I must venture out in freezing air.	Well done, Grandma
	Auntie Jane just feels no pain As she trips and slips and falls again. She likes us all to stand and stare As she glides by with foot in air. I shout, when she goes whizzing round: "Keep both your feet upon the ground!" She does not listen when I grumble, Even if she takes a tumble.
Today I saw, out in the street, A lad with rollers on his feet. I thought: "Now that's the thing for me. No ice. No surface slippery. I'll get myself down to the store And buy myself a skate, or four. There's no need to get cold and sticky. Roller blades don't seem too tricky."
	I tried them on and stepped outside, Ready for a gentle glide. I could not manage them at all. I crashed into a garden wall. Then I went whooshing down the slope. (Grandma ran behind with rope) She pulled me back home up the hill. I went to bed. I felt quite ill.
Other people, I could see, Were having much more fun than me Spinning, whirling, making speed. A pleasurable pastime, yes indeed, With scarce a tremble or a fall And no-one getting hurt at all. All this made me rather sad. 'Twas not for me, the fun they had.
	As I wiped away my tear There came to me a great idea! I saw a clever seven-year old With a Skate Board, brown and gold. "If he can skate thus, so can I" "Yes," said Grandma. "Pigs can fly!" Before she grumbled me some more I quickly went off to the store.
You will notice I did not succeed. A skate board is NOT what I need. As I lay there in the mud Grandma helped mop up my blood. I limped away and bought a scooter. Grandma said it did not suit her. Please, before it is too late, Will someone teach me how to skate?